Brain jam

I feel like I have a backlog of thoughts waiting to be written.  So today I will attempt to clear some of the brain jam.  Be forewarned, this might end up being quite a long post.

Things have been happy.  Things have been sobering.  Things have been difficult.  And things have been hopeful.

The happy:
We are slowly acquiring things we need for baby.  The best part?  We're getting really good deals in the process!  So far, we've gotten a free change table, a baby bath tub for $3.50 and a super-nice rocking chair/footstool combo for $35.  I'm extremely happy about the rocking chair because I had been praying for one and stopping by our local thrift store every now and then to check if they had any.  Last week, they finally had one.  And it's the perfect size for me and for our apartment.  As T was loading it into our car, an elderly lady walked past us and commented, "That's a really nice chair!  I've never seen something so nice in that thrift store.  It must just be for you and your baby."  I smiled at her and thought to myself, "Yes.  This chair is just for us."

Isn't it lovely?

The sobering:
Prenatal classes.  Learning about the birth process and the average length of time labour lasts, I have found myself bracing for some hard work ahead.  In our class last night, we covered variations on labour and different interventions that can be taken.  This included a role-play lesson on c-sections that resembled something like ER.  Now that I know what has to happen in a cesarean birth, I really pray that I (and all my classmates) would be spared from that surgery!

The difficult:
Saying goodbye to some of our stuff.  As we have been systematically going through every room in our house, we've been clearing out a lot of stuff.  Some of the items I couldn't care less about and am happy to give away.  Some other items have been harder to part with, either because I remember buying them (and paying good money for them!) or because they represent some sort of memory.  It has certainly been a process of letting go and "growing up" of sorts.  I wrote more about it here.

The hopeful:
I'm not sure if hopeful is the best word for this.  But I have been re-working a painting that I had done 13 years ago as a high school art project.  Back when I was a teenager, I had intended for this piece to be a statement against abortion.  And thus had included a lifeless fetus as part of the image.  Now that I am carrying a child and have grown in my understanding of redemption and life, I wanted the painting to be less depressing and more hopeful.  So I have refinished it.  I think it's neat that what I painted so many years ago is a reality happening in my own body right now.  The remaining question is, where might be a good home for it?

Here's the finished painting.  It's a two-part piece titled, "Life."

The bump's the trump

It's hard to believe that I'm at 30 weeks - which means there are only 10 weeks to go!  I think my belly has finally hit the point where it's obvious enough that strangers will ask me when I'm due.  It also seems to be the focal point for most people I interact with.

I was telling T last night that people no longer notice or comment on things that would have been noticed pre-bump.  Things like new glasses (I've had them for a month now and only one person has noted it) and the fact that I'm taking advantage of the pregnancy phenomenon of thick and healthy hair (I'm growing it out right now and planning to donate it about a month before I'm due to make wigs for kids with cancer).  Nope, people generally just notice my belly.  Which is fine.  And in a way, I think it is preparing me for the shift of attention away from me once baby arrives.

In other news, these last couple weeks have seen a couple new developments.  I notice that baby has hiccups about twice a day.  And at times, I can feel little protrusions that seem to be baby's feet or head or some other pointy bit jutting out of my abdomen.  It's kind of fun to visualize baby in there.

These last few days, I've noticed a definite increase in my appetite.  It feels like the first few weeks of pregnancy again - I am constantly eating!  I seem to be shifting toward a new mode of operation where the days and nights roll into each other and are punctuated by eating times.  This, too, is preparation for what's ahead I suspect.

Anyway, it's been a while since I posted a photo.  So here's me at 30 weeks, complete with the new glasses and long, flowing hair.  ;)  Can you spot the emerging belly button?

Courage to face the pain

Last night at our second prenatal class, we covered the first stage of labour.  The instructor taught us a few positions we could assume and some breathing patterns we could use to help us make it through the contractions.  I can't say I look forward to the pain.

Something that struck me though was her explanation of how birth pain is purposeful pain.  In the process of pain, endorphin is released that actually helps the woman feel less pain.  And did you know that during the contractions, a woman's body releases a chemical that calms the baby?  This allows baby to be born wide-eyed, calm and open to taking in the world in his/her first hours.  So although what I will be feeling is pain, lots of other stuff will be happening in my body for both mine and the baby's good.

I find it interesting that somehow, knowing that pain serves a greater purpose gives me courage to enter into that unpleasant experience.  That somehow, it makes it more worth it.

On a side note, baby is amazingly squirmy these days.  Or maybe I just feel the squirming more.  =)  This morning, it felt like baby was practicing tai bo against my internal organs.  I found myself praying that God would help baby turn around.  T encouraged me with this beatitude:  Blessed are they who feel pummeled from the inside, for theirs will be a beautiful child.  It helped to remember that I am blessed.

Oh, and I passed the glucose screening test.  Yay for no gestational diabetes.  =)

Let the nesting begin!

Last Monday, we attended our first prenatal class.  Most of it was introduction, meeting the instructor and the other eleven couples in the class, and going over what to expect in the next five classes.  During one part of the class, we watched a DVD about the third trimester and in it, they mentioned the tendency for pregnant women to "nest" - that is, to sort through and rearrange the house incessantly in preparation for the baby.

T and I chuckled when we watched that segment because that's what I've started to do the last couple weeks or so.  For one, I swapped out our beloved set of beautiful black and blue stoneware dishes (that were originally gifts from our wedding registry - *sniff*) for light, practical and durable plain white Corelle dinnerware.  I figured once the baby arrives, I'm going to have to learn to do things with one hand and heavy, breakable stoneware just isn't conducive to that.

I've also harvested all the basil, oregano and rosemary that I'd been growing and replaced them with lower-maintenance plants.

And the other night, we went through our bookshelves and weeded out the books and other papers that we don't want to keep.

At this point, making room for the baby (and all the baby's stuff) seems of utmost importance to us.  As I reflect on this time of "making space," I am reminded of the line in the Christmas carol Joy to the World that says, "Let every heart prepare Him room."  And I realize that this time of preparation, of clearing the clutter and creating a hospitable place for our baby is akin to the Christian season of Advent, where for four weeks before Christmas, people set aside time to anticipate and welcome the coming of Jesus.  So I guess while the traditional Advent is four weeks long, our little "Advent" of sorts is 12 weeks (or maybe it's more like 40 weeks?).

It can wait

I'm learning to incorporate this phrase into my vocabulary:  "[fill in the blank] can wait."  Today, it's the laundry. You see, usually, Monday's are my grocery and laundry days.  But after getting groceries this morning and spot cleaning our irritatingly dirty floor this afternoon, I'm wiped.  And since sleep at night has been hit and miss, naptime calls.  So the laundry can wait.

Tonight, we are heading to our very first prenatal class (session one of six).  We don't really know what to expect.  The only instructions we got were to dress comfortably and bring a pillow...  Although I must say, I am looking forward to meeting some other people who live in our area and are due around the same time as us.  I'll keep you posted on how it goes!

But if I am to be remotely attentive tonight, I must get some sleep.  So I shall bid you adieu for now and say hello to my pillow.  =)

Thankfully, earthquakes don't count as a pregnancy symptom

At lunch today, as T and I were eating at home, I suddenly felt on onset of dizziness.  I thought to myself, This is strange, I was feeling fine just a second ago, how is it that I feel so unstable all of a sudden?  And then I realized it was an earthquake!  I was relieved that it was the earth and not my body that was out of balance.

This past week, my parents came to visit us.  It was the first time they got to see me pregnant.  My mom had fun talking to baby in my belly.  She also spoiled me with new shoes and a couple of beautiful cardigans that will be perfect for the autumn/winter.  Oh, and a super-cute maternity/nursing pajama set.  And my dad and I had fun comparing belly sizes.  We even took a couple pictures.

My mom also helped me sort through 4 boxes of baby clothes that one of T's cousins generously lent us.  The newborn pieces really are so small and cute!  Can't wait to use them.  =)

On Wednesday evening, we went with my parents to tour the hospital where I will be delivering baby.   There were maybe another 7 couples there as well.  I think my belly was the smallest by far.  Either we're eager beavers and took the tour really early in our pregnancy, or I'm just carrying small.  I couldn't tell.  Anyway, it was quite informative and I'm glad we went.  I got pretty thirsty and tired by the end of the tour though.  And that night, I dreamt that I gave birth and had to wander the halls holding my newborn in search of something to drink.  Ha.

In other news, my nausea and food aversions seem to have abated.  So the chicken ban has not been reinstated.  That's good news.

Fatigue and weepiness are still hanging around.  I spent most of today sleeping and only changed out of my pjs at 4pm.  I've been finding it super hot this week and that's added to the inability to get good sleep.  Thankfully, I've been managing to get solid deep sleep in 1-hour increments.  Training for when baby arrives?  I think so.

Anyway, saw this cartoon that depicts my situation pretty accurately.  Enjoy.  =)

Oh hello again

And without fanfare or warning, four first-trimester chums are back in town.

Hello again fatigue, nausea, food aversions and weepiness. I have to say, I have not missed you.  From what others tell me, you've come to re-visit us because baby's growing and taking up more room, my stomach's getting squished and my hormones are running amok.  And I shouldn't expect you four to leave until the baby is born.  That's just excellent.

I find it amazing that for about a minute when I first wake up, I feel refreshed.  And then whomp, fatigue, you find me and I want to curl up and sleep the day away.  Except I can't seem to sleep very long before my bladder sounds the alarm and I'm forced to get up.

I've been told that eating smaller meals should help me cope with you, nausea.  Well, that's what I did for lunch today and nope, still feel gross.  Something tells me vitamins are going to be a chore again and the chicken ban is going to come back into full effect.

The worst part is that I'm hungry all the time.  Sigh.

As for you, weepiness, you're just there ready to dole out the tears whenever you fancy.  Even cartoons make me cry these days.

Anyway, I guess I have no choice but to try to be hospitable to you four for now.  Fighting you would simply be a waste of energy.  Just remember, your stay will end in due time and you will have to move on.